It is hard to put into words what a miracle it is to watch my tiny human grow. She is full of smiles, baby noises, and my favorite thing right now, she reaches for me. That just melts my heart. I love knowing her and I have this special bond that was formed 14 months ago. She is also very curious, wants to touch (mostly put everything in her mouth) and loves to grab anything that is in front of her, not excluding our faces!
It is so hard to put into words what the last 5 months have been like. I am not going to lie, it is not all easy, there were some very hard moments, lots of sleep loss, lots of frustration, lots ( I mean LOTS) of tears shed, but there were happy tears and some very precious moments. I would not trade anything in the world for all the moments I have had with my dear baby. She is honestly the best thing I have ever done in my life. I look back at all the hard things that I have been through, all the times I wondered what His purpose was to challenge me and now it all is clear. Nothing will challenge you like motherhood does. Nothing can really prepare you to become a parent, a mother. I know that I will never love like I love my child and I also know that no one is going to break my heart like she will. And I don't mean we are going to have a bad relationship when she gets older, I mean more that the first time she yells at me, "I hate you" or "you are ruining my life" my heart will break in a million pieces. Or the first time I see her heart break from someone she thought she could trust and love, my heart will break. Or the first time someone is cruel to her just to be cruel, my heart will break. Or the first time she does not need me but needs her independence more, my heart will break. Ok seriously, tears are pouring down my face.
What I do know, and what I hold onto with every breathe in me, is that I may not be there for her always but I know He is. I know that God is watching over our child and to trust His plan for her. That helps me sleep at night knowing this child of God is being watched over.
Ok enough deep stuff.
It is very bittersweet to watch a tiny human grow. I miss her being a newborn already but at the same time I love watching her grow. Seeing her personality come out more, accomplishing little milestones like rolling over! I cannot wait (but I can) to see what the next month has in store for us!
Some pics and a video!
Video: how she feels about turning 5 months!
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